You Are Superman!

I should note that, although this parody bears more than a passing resemblance to "Ode to a Superhero" by Weird Al Yankovic, I actually wrote this nearly a decade before that song was released (and I think that the 1995 edition of Logos, Montreat-Anderson College's literary magazine, would prove it, but even though I was the editor of that issue, I no longer have a copy of my own for that particular year, so I can't check to see whether this was one of my pieces that we printed, or if I just think we did....  Ah, well.)

“You Are Superman”
to Billy Joel’s “Piano Man”
by Mark Baker-Wright

Well, it’s nine o’clock in Metropolis
The newspaper crowd shuffles in
There’s a bald man standing next to me
With his eyes filled with hatred and sin.
He says “I think that all of you know of me!”
as he pushes a gun to my face.
“For Lex Luthor’s the one who’s destiny
is to put Superman in his place!”

Oh, la lala lele lah
Lala lele lah lalah

Right us a wrong, you are Superman.
Right us a wrong tonight.
For we’re all in the mood for a victory
And justice will make us feel right.

I see a man wearing glasses run away from me
As the crowd panics and turns to stone.
And as Luthor prepares a calamity,
I then realize that we’re not alone.
For a hero has entered the vicinity,
and so Luthor prepares for a fight.
And as Superman begins to rescue me,
Luthor pulls out some green kryptonite.

Oh, la lala lele lah
Lala lele lah lalah

Right us a wrong, you are Superman.
Right us a wrong tonight.
For we’re all in the mood for a victory
And justice will make us feel right.

But before the rock can hurt Superman,
I turn Luthor’s intentions to ash.
For I kick Luthor’s hand with the kryptonite,
And then throw it into the trash.
So Superman’s powers come back to him.
And the criminal knows that he's failed.
For Superman then takes a hold of him,
And flies Luthor screaming to jail.

It’s a beautiful day in Metropolis.
A newspaper boy passes by.
I call him to purchase a copy.
For the headline, it catches my eye.
It says “Town throws a party for Superman,”
And the boy takes my money in awe
For he sees that it's me in the picture there
Helping Superman uphold the law.

Right us a wrong, you are Superman.
Right us a wrong tonight.
For we’re all in the mood for a victory
And justice will make us feel right.
Right us a wrong, you are Superman.
Right us a wrong tonight.
For we’re all in the mood for a victory
And justice will make us feel right.