Friday, January 9, 2026

The Impossible Cat - A Parody

Meet Earl Grey
As longtime readers know, my wife and I have been cat owners for over twenty years now. Sadly, cats have a much more limited lifespan than humans, and thus we've had to say goodbye to two of these cats (Turtle and Kona), but have recently welcomed Earl Grey (pictured) into our home. The following parody (to the tune of "The Impossible Dream" from Man of LaMancha) was written before Earl Grey came to us, and I have to say it doesn't seem to apply to him especially well. Even so, I hope you enjoy it! Maybe someday I'll get around to a proper recording....

With apologies to the writers of “The Impossible Dream” 
Inspired by real events 

To feed the impossible cat 
To try to provide her with food 
And yet she refuses to eat it 
Because she is evil and rude 

I ask “Maybe chicken or duck” 
Perhaps a nice tuna or beef 
But, no! I know it doesn’t matter 
She just keeps on giving me grief 

This is my cat! She’s stubborn and bad 
No matter how tasty 
The meal she’d have had 
She’ll turn up her nose 
Without reason or cause 
She’ll be willing to march in a huff 
On her kitty cat paws 

And I know, that no matter the food 
She’ll put us to the test 
And we’re doomed to continue to try 
As we feed her our best 

And the food, will be better for this 
Yet our cat, scorns and evilly taunts 
She’ll go in her catly demeanor 
To eat... only just when she... wants!

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