As longtime readers know, my wife and I have been cat owners for over twenty years now. Sadly, cats have a much more limited lifespan than humans, and thus we've had to say goodbye to two of these cats (Turtle and Kona), but have recently welcomed Earl Grey (pictured) into our home. The following parody (to the tune of "The Impossible Dream" from Man of LaMancha) was written before Earl Grey came to us, and I have to say it doesn't seem to apply to him especially well. Even so, I hope you enjoy it! Maybe someday I'll get around to a proper recording....
Inspired by real events
To feed the impossible cat
To try to provide her with food
And yet she refuses to eat it
Because she is evil and rude
I ask “Maybe chicken or duck”
Perhaps a nice tuna or beef
But, no! I know it doesn’t matter
She just keeps on giving me grief
This is my cat! She’s stubborn and bad
No matter how tasty
The meal she’d have had
She’ll turn up her nose
Without reason or cause
She’ll be willing to march in a huff
On her kitty cat paws
And I know, that no matter the food
She’ll put us to the test
And we’re doomed to continue to try
As we feed her our best
And the food, will be better for this
Yet our cat, scorns and evilly taunts
She’ll go in her catly demeanor
To eat... only just when she... wants!
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